Sega Toys creates robotic girlfriend

Sega Toys has created a 15-inch-tall robotic girlfriend that kisses its owner and is being marketed to lonely men.

The robotic girlfriend runs on batteries or defeat.

“To sweeten the deal, we’re throwing in a bonus gift,” a Sega Toys representative said. “Every guy who buys a robotic girlfriend receives a free seven-day suicide watch. If he doesn’t kill himself in that week, our customer-service team will offer tips to make suicide easier.

“To make it easier to go off a window ledge, they’ll tell him to wear an overstuffed backpack. For an effortless hanging, they’ll recommend standing on a chair covered with marbles. It’s our way to say, ‘Thanks for giving up.’"

http://www.msnbc.msn.com/id/25209226

Travel agency to offer nudist flight

A German travel agency will start taking bookings Friday for a nudist day trip in which the 55 passengers will be nude throughout the flight.

"We have an excellent plan in place," an airline representative said. "We installed extended seat-back trays, which passengers will be encouraged to keep down at all times. If the plane goes down, we will pass around a can of Lysol, so passengers can prepare to use their seat cushions as flotation devices."

The airline said each row of the plane will have only one seat, so passengers won't have to cross over each other to get out of their seats. Additionally, the airline will offer a discount to passengers sitting in emergency-exit rows, since the naked escape procedure could get "a little weird."

"Children won't have to fly naked, but we won't provide trauma counseling," the airline representative said. "Crew members will be allowed to call in sick mid-flight, but those who hang in there will receive free shots of pepper spray."

Men flying naked will not be allowed to sleep.

The airline reportedly is considering burning the plane afterward.

http://www.msnbc.msn.com/id/22895813

Religious man cuts off hand, microwaves it

An Idaho man reportedly used a circular saw to cut off one hand and cooked it in the microwave because he believed his hand bore the biblical "mark of the beast."

The mark was later removed from the microwave with a sponge.

"Wiping my hand crumbs out of the microwave was easy, but it took a while to get the mark of the beast off the rotating plate," the man said. "Modern-day cleansers don't seem to work that well on biblical marks, especially with only one arm's worth of elbow grease to put into it.

"This sort of thing worked out better back in biblical days. Back then, when a hand was evil, they could just cut it off and throw it into a fire. I can't do that because having a fire in my apartment would violate my lease, even if it's for biblical reasons. My landlord's crazy, right?"

http://www.msnbc.msn.com/id/22573021

Man kept year's worth of trash in his apartment

To make a statement about the environment, a California man saved every piece of trash he generated over the past year and kept it in his apartment.

After a year of living surrounded by trash, he made a second statement seeking organ donors.

“When he came in, he basically was a disease buffet,” said a hospital representative. “It seems that his apartment needs shots. He would have been better off living in a real dump, where it’s ventilated and the rats take on some of the disease load.”

To raise money for his hospital bill, the man plans to have his apartment cleaned enough to be rented as a meth lab.

http://www.msnbc.msn.com/id/22455157