An Ohio man under a court order to make sure his troubled high-school-dropout daughter receives an equivalency diploma will serve time in jail because she failed.
So will his daughter.
“It’ll work out great,” a jail representative said. “We’re putting the father in the men’s wing of his daughter’s safety jail, the one she applies to just in case she doesn’t get into her first-choice jail. This way, they can bond over meals the way families should, even if the meals involve metal trays and the possibility of seeing a stabbing. The father will be there to check out his daughter’s conjugal dates. And they’ll be the normal pair at the jail’s father-daughter dances. Those usually are kind of weird.
“But that’s if she doesn’t get into her first-choice jail. I think she’ll get in. That jail always takes alumni kids. But her extracurriculars are only OK. She should spend this summer doing crime abroad or doing an internship with a prestigious kingpin. When it comes to jail, the best admission essay is a newspaper clip.”
