Under the Sperm For Tickets initiative, men who make sperm donations in
Men who produce sperm donations while in the ticket line will receive their tickets after they post bail.
“The police have a pretty nice setup prepared for these guys,” a Sperm For Tickets representative said. “They’ll get premium listing on the sex-offender registry, so they can notify their neighbors with a YouTube video instead of going door to door. A really good sex-offender announcement can open a lot of doors if the right people see it. It’s just a matter of holding a screening at a theater that’s within two miles and doesn’t have any children around.
“Aside from the legal issues, there’s a bigger problem with a bunch of guys whipping it out and making sperm donations in the ticket line: What would they put their sperm in? We couldn’t take sperm donations in soda cans they found outside. You can’t really pour sperm out of a soda can. Then we’d end up with enemies at the recycling center.”
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